Roy Getting With Riza Is A Chat Chance!
by Krymsyn Vyxyn
Summary: Riza is tired of Rebecca nagging her about romance. But what happens when Roy overhears a proposition between the two females. Can he lie his way into the heart of the woman he loves?


**Roy Getting Riza Is A Chat Chance!**

**A/N: Hello everyone! This was a really fun fic for me to write and I've actually considered continuing on with what would happen after this fic. So, if you think that it's worthy of a sequel please let me know. Regardless, enjoy, and remember that I do not own anything here, minus the story and title. :) Also, please note that I don't understand how to format, so unless someone wants to thoroughly explain it to me, it's not changing. Deal with it! 3**

Riza Hawkeye was never one for romance. To her, romance only existed in those trashy romance novels her friends read, and on more occasions than one, they tried to convince

her to read as well. She remembered one encounter with her friend Rebecca and a book titled, Does She Dare?. Rebecca had profusely shoved the book in Riza's face, insisting

she at least give it a shot, which ultimately ended in the poor book being badly wounded by bullets then savagely thrown into a nearby wall.

"Don't be ridiculous Rebecca! Do you honestly believe that mushy lovey dovey crap like that exists in this world today? And furthermore, do you really think guys are actually

that chivalrous and gentleman-like?" She had lost her patience with her friend and stormed off, leaving Rebecca to tend to her tattered book. It wasn't until she had gotten out of

the shower and laid down for bed that she began to fantasize a world of which Rebecca spoke. She envisioned a handsome, well-built man waiting for her return from work. He

would sweep her off her feet and whisk her into the kitchen where he had already prepared a nice dinner for the both of them after a hard day at work. Afterwards, they would

clean up together and then cuddle on the couch watching their favorite television show or movie followed by a passionate session of love making. She would then get up the next

morning and do it all over again. She could get used to a routine such as that, but to be honest, such a future was hardly a reality. She opened her eyes as Hayate licked her

hand and whined. As she pulled him up onto the bed with her, she nuzzled his fur and whispered to him, "I don't know Hayate…maybe there is someone out there for everyone.

We'll just see…" With that last thought she slowly drifted off to sleep with the pup cradled in her arms.

The next morning she was greeted by a teary eyed Rebecca as soon as she entered her and Mustang's office. She held the damaged book close to her chest and rocked it gently.

"My book…this was my favorite book Riza! And now look at it!" She thrust the book in Riza's face and shook it violently. Riza bit back a chuckle at her friend's reaction. "I'm really

sorry Rebecca, look, I'll buy you another copy of the book alright?"

"No, no it's not alright! I'm emotionally scarred!" Riza could see now that Rebecca was putting on a show, and probably could care less about the book she clutched to her body.

At the sound of Rebecca's outburst, Roy popped his head around the corner of the hall to see what all the commotion was. As he opened his mouth to interrupt them, he quickly

shut it as Rebecca continued laying into Riza.

"You know what Riza? I'm sick of you constantly bashing romance and chivalry. I bet you don't even have the guts to even go on a single date with a guy."

"Excuse me?" Riza arched her brow in a challenge, her voice laced with irritation. "You heard me", Rebecca shot back. "Is Riza Hawkeye too much of a chicken to accept?" She

smirked as she put her hands on her hips.

Riza was certainly not going to let Rebecca of all people question her affimity. "Fine, you're on. But, where exactly am I going to find a guy to go on a date with; I don't get out

much and I'm definitely not dating any of the guys around here."

From a distance the girls thought they heard what sounded like a head being banged against the wall, but shrugged it off after seeing the hallway was empty. Meanwhile, thirty

feet away Roy Mustang had a massive headache and a noticeable knot on his forehead.

"We'll try online then; it's a great way to meet single guys if you don't go out in public much. I'll even set it up for you. This is going to be so great Riza, *sniff* you're growing

up on me you know that?" Riza playfully shoved Rebecca as she reluctantly mumbled her agreement.

"Alright, I'll start looking around this afternoon. And Rebecca, after I do this I never want to hear about another one of your cheesy romance books again…or anything else for

that matter."

"Agreed." Rebecca beamed with joy as she scuttled back to her office, skipping and humming as she made her way there.

After watching Rebecca skitter off Riza headed into the office to start her paperwork. It would be a long day with Rebecca nagging at her, so she wanted to get in and get as

much work done as she could before she came back and bothered her.

"Something troubling you Hawkeye?" Roy made his way into the office, pretending to be puzzled by his subordinate's lack of usual enthusiasm.

"No sir", she lied. The last thing she wanted was for Roy to get in on Rebecca's stupid ordeal. If he knew that she was browsing online for easy dates, she'd never hear the end of

it from him. Which was odd, seeing as how he went home with a different woman every week. She wondered how he had so much confidence to approach women, and how he

managed to always get the ones he wanted. She couldn't really say she envied him for it, yet it was still impressive that he could bend someone's will to his own so easily.

He huffed coarsely at her lie, but decided not to press on the issue, afraid she might catch on that he knew about her and Rebecca's deal. The hot day drug on forever and as

Riza suspected, Rebecca came bouncing in the office a few hours later, the same dumb smile etched on her face from before.

"Hello, darling. Or should I say foxylady_69!" Rebecca's smile widened as she took a seat next to Riza. Roy caught himself in mid chuckle and after receiving a sharp death glare,

found a piece of paper on his desk to become immediately fascinated with.

"No…you didn't…" Riza's heart sank as she imagined her picture plastered on a webpage with a nice bold title that read that same name. The very thought made her want to

blast Rebecca with all sorts of holes, in which she would be severely punished and ultimately discharged from the military. Not to mention Roy probably knew what was up now,

and he would just add to the aggravation that Rebecca was causing. Rebecca put her hands up in mock defense and lowered her voice to a near whisper.

"Relax, I got your login information and the website right here." She pulled a folded piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to Riza.

"Riza Hawkeye, password 1234? Really, THIS was the best password you could come up with Rebecca?"

"Hey, if it works it works. Besides you didn't seem like you'd be using it very long so what's the big deal?"

"I guess you're right, not to mention I better have a half ass decent picture of me on there."

"Oh I did. I did indeed." Rebecca's smug grin returned. "I used a picture where half your ass was showing, so finding you a date should be no problem." This earned a gun

withdrawal from the blonde, which was shortly accompanied with an apology from the dark haired woman.

"Alright I used your graduation picture. But seriously Riza, just give it a shot and see what you find. You never know, you might find someone you're really interested in."

"I suppose that's always a possibility. Not that I really wanted to find out, particularly in this fashion."

After a few more minutes of barely audible gossip Rebecca left the room leaving Riza and Roy in a mild awkward silence. He watched as she glanced down at the paper in her lap

and began typing at the keys on her computer. He shifted in his seat and craned his neck to try to get a better look at the website she was on, but to no avail. Slowly, he snaked

his arm across his desk, "accidentally" knocking a stack of papers off his desk and towards hers. Instinctively she rose from her chair and began helping him collect the papers

while he pretended to do the same, looking over the top of her head to get a glimpse of her computer. Just as she rose her head to hand him the papers, he snapped his head

back towards her, successfully retrieving the information he needed without getting caught.

"Thank you Lieutenant." Roy kindly accepted the now messy stack and carried it back to his desk. He decided to wait before visiting the website himself, so he grabbed a pen out

of his desk and messily scribbled the name "Singles Net of the Sea: Snag Your Catch" in the palm of his hand. A rather dumb name in his opinion, but it was from Rebecca, so he

expected nothing less from her.

After a mind numbing fifteen minutes went by, Roy grew tired of waiting and eventually caved in to his urgency to create his own account. He fumbled with a paper clip as he

tried to think of a screen name. It was obvious he couldn't use his real name, but at the same time it had to be clever and not too piggish sounding.

"Guess that means Ripped_pimp is out of the question", he muttered under his breath as he racked his brain for a title. He eventually settled on Gunsmen_Pro; while it didn't

exactly fit him, it was certain to at least catch her eye and maybe give him an edge in talking to her. He began typing her name in the search bar and instantly found her

account. All in all Rebecca had done a pretty good job in setting up her profile. It was neatly laid out with a few basic details such as eye color, height, and age and she had

chosen a modest picture that Riza had had taken at basic graduation. As he clicked on the "Message Now" option, he began feeling a knot form in his stomach. Why was he

getting so nervous about talking to her? And over the internet of all things? As the box came up he found himself lost of words to say, so he started with the basics.

"_Hello, I noticed you were new around here as well. Would you care to chat with me?_

Really Roy? Would you care to chat with me? He mentally kectured himself at how stupid he must have sounded to her, but was relieved as a favorable reply was returned to

him.

"_Sure. I'm Riza."_

"_Seth. It's nice to meet you Riza."_

"_Likewise, so tell me a little about yourself Seth."_

"_Well let's see, I work, _he struggled as he tried to quickly conjure up a fake occupation. The problem was, the only thing he was really knowledgeable about in the civilian world

could make him out to be a sissy. Unfortunately, he didn't have much time to think of something else so he took a deep breath and swallowed his pride as he finished his

sentence.

_in a flower shop." _He hated himself right now. Really hated himself.

"_Well that's nice. What exactly do you do there?"_

He was awed by her acceptance and dared to sneak a peek at her from across the room. Was she…smiling? He gave a small unnoticed smile back as he returned to his computer.

"_I arrange flowers, deliver the orders, you know the usual things in a floral shop. The orange tiger lilies __are quite lovely, they would go excellent with your long, beautiful hair. _

_Another flower that would accent __your remarkable beauty is_-

"Sir?"

Roy snapped his head up as Riza was now standing next to him, rather than sitting at her desk like she had been just seconds ago. A small cry escaped his lips as he furiously

tried to hide his conversation with her. She had seemed to have not noticed, and he leaned back in his chair shakily as he cleared his throat.

"Yes?"

"You seem to be extremely preoccupied with your computer rather than focusing on your paperwork. What's so important that's got you this distracted?" She reached over

him and her hand lingered inches from his mouse.

"No, no, no, that's quite alright Lieutenant. I'm looking at…"

"Looking at?" She arched her brow at him.

He sighed as he reluctantly gave the only answer that would deter her interference. "I'm looking at porn. I'm sorry, I'll get back to work now."

She scoffed as she withdrew her hand and gave him a stern look. "With all due respect sir, you really give good guys a bad name you know?"

He sadly nodded as she walked away from him and sat back down at her desk. He had set himself up for that one, but at least she didn't know that it was him who was on the

other end talking to her. He was willing to make that sacrifice, for now. He sighed as he reassumed his position at the computer, finishing his sentence that was interrupted

earlier.

_Eastern lily. Sorry for the delayed response, I was helping an elderly lady pick out flowers for her new __grandchild."_

"_It's ok. And that's very sweet Seth, thank you."_

"_You're welcome". _He cocked a grin as he saw his opportunity to get back at her. _"So Riza, why don't you __tell me a little about yourself now?"_

He waited until she began typing her response before he rose from his chair. Quietly he snuck up behind her and took a deep breath as began his lecture.

"What's going on here Lieutenant?" he boomed in her ear.

Startled, she jumped three inches out of her seat and frantically clicked on the exit button of the conversation, consequently ending it. She whirled around to face his amused

face, while hers was red with embarrassment and frustration.

"N-nothing sir."

"Doesn't look like nothing to me, care to share?"

"No thanks, I'm fine. Excuse me, I need to go." She briskly walked past him to the lavatory, leaving the smug Roy behind her. He chuckled to himself as he watched her walk

down the hallway, at a remarkably fast pace he noted. Knowing that he was the cause on both sides of such embarrassment slightly amused him and made her all the more

cute to him in a way. Seeing her so flustered and unable to fathom a defense was a relatively new concept to him, and served to remind him that she was more of a woman

than she might have wanted everyone to think. She put on a tough exterior, but the softness of the inside was begin to break light on the surface. He frowned as he sat down

and noticed the new box that covered his screen: *Riza Hawkeye has logged off.*

"Hmph, well, guess that was more my fault than anything", he mumbled as he pulled a stack of papers towards him. He hadn't even really started working yet, and the more

he had talked to her online, the further and further he had gotten on his paperwork. Not that she would catch on, as slacking off was nothing unusual for him. He would

conjure up an excuse, take the usual and harsh lecture, then by threatened back to work with the familiar barrel of the military issued pistol.

It seemed like an eternity before Riza returned; as she walked in the office her eyes were glued to the floor and her face resembled that of a tomato. As he watched her slump

down in her chair in resignation, he began feeling guilty for getting her so riled up in the first place. Sure, he had ruffled her feathers before, but never like this. Instead of the

common irritated look, a canvas of sadness and shame plastered her normally eloquent face. He hated the way these new wrinkles and stress lines disrupted her features, and

the guilty remorse in his gut violently sought to right the wrong he had done to her. The legs of the chair squeaked as they scraped the cold and bland tiles of the floor. As he

approached her from behind, he softly placed his hands on her fragile shoulders and gave them a reassuring yet gentle squeeze.

"Riza, I'm sorry. I know that you have an excellent head on your shoulders and great morals, so I could never think less of you for anything you do."

"Well sir, I've recently joined an online dating site, and truth be told, met a pretty decent guy on there."

"That's wonderful Hawkeye, I say go for it if you think he's truly deserving of it."

"You think that I should?" She was a bit worried by his being so straight forward and accepting of it.

"Definitely", he shot her a grin as he patted her shoulder and returned to his desk. Moments later a message popped up on his screen.

"_Hey, sorry about earlier. I had something important come up that required my immediate attention."_

"_Welcome back beautiful. Don't worry about it, I fully understand how that goes. Tell you what, why __don't I take you to dinner this Friday. We can get to know each other _

_more and maybe have fewer __distractions there."_

After Riza read the proposal, she looked up at Roy who had his face buried in his computer. Was he…smiling? As she returned her gaze back to her computer, a small smile

begin to turn on her face as well.

"_That sounds wonderful Seth. I'll see you Friday."_

*Riza Hawkeye has logged off.*


End file.
